Wednesday, 2 May 2012

"Allah,Allah,Allah "
You always hear me.
You always see me.
 You always give me hope
You always be with me.
I do love You with all my heart
"Allah, Allah,Allah"
I do want to obey you with a true feeling of a servant,
do all things that You like
leave all things that You don't like 

I thought changing will be easier 
but it's not
its really tough,
yes its getting tougher and tougher
its easy for me at first
but yet i always heard that people say its hard
which i wonder how hard it is since it easy for me to left all of my jahiliyah
but today You show me
it is very hard to leave all this jahiliyah
I'm sorry for whining when You make all things easier for me
and now when You test me with my old jahiliyah back
I'm still whining and sometimes I felt to give up on trying
why i act like this?? i always ask myself
i dont want to be back like the old me with all the bad and negative things
'i wanna be a new me! a servant who has her Creator's name on her heart!
I will not give up!!! I will change myself even though its hard!!!
i know You know what's inside my heart
and You know how much I want to change myself
and You know that I always not really pushing myself to change
but You know that I always put  hope to change even though its might be slow
but  i really wanna change
maybe just my effort doesnt show what my heart want
i know its my fault
i know i can't follow all this blind desire which will never end if i just let it come and control me!!!
i have to fight! fight till the end!
even though how much i want but just with Your Mercy i will have the strength to fight
just You can make me strong
and I know You always be with me
I know You will guide me to Your path
to Your Paradise
My Creator, My Allah,
Thank You for this world,
Thank You for this life,
Thank You for everything...

p/s > i always love You and always... insyaAllah  

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